The pain is real

Hei there!

Today I feel like to share my story with whoever you are that currently reading this post.
Back in high school days, I am a netball player and hockey also hahaha. Yes, I have been playing netball since primary school and that was my first sport that I am very into it. Dijadikan cerita, masa form 5, I was very determined in winning the game. So, I gave extra effort on that day and accidentally missed step during landed while receiving the ball. Masa ni baru warm up. I think my knee pops, I am totally wasted masa tu. Couldn’t stand up and in deep pain. The pain is from my ankle till my hip of my right side leg. I force one of my friend to pull my leg and do some exercise until I ‘feel’ back my leg and tadaaaaa I can stand up back! But it still hurt. However, I still want to be in the game. I told them to keep it quiet and don’t let our teacher know about the accident. So, that day I still in my WD position and yes, we won that game. How happy I am at that moment hahahahahaha

The next two weeks, we have another friendly netball tournament at school but just between us, the exam class students (form 3, form 5, form 6 and teachers). So, every batch need to send two groups where our batch majority know how to play netball very well (most of the netball athletes are from our batch hehe). So, we were against f3 players where most of them don’t know how to play the sport. Bare in mind my leg still not stable and pain. When one of my team pass the ball to me, I was attacked my two of the opposition players and there you go! Jatuh rebah ke atas jalan kau! First time in my netball tournament seluar koyak plus lutut pun koyak! Dua belah lutut luka! Jatuh atas jalan tar yaaaa! Berdarah darahhhhh. So, what I do is I ask for substitute then I run back to hostel, go to my room, change my pant and run back to the game. I request them to let me in back in the game. Dengan lutut luka yang belum bercuci belum berbalut, I back in the court, playing in deep pain. Yupp, that’s me. Degil dan tidak tahu erti sakit. Yang penting menang game and yes we won! Hahaha although that was only a friendly match. After that, almost 2 months I couldn’t pray in normal way. I need to sit down while praying. Jalan pun nda normal. Hahahahaha

During my uni time, I played netball in my freshies year only. After that, I seek for new sport which is tenpin bowling. But I never go seek doctor properly regarding my knee. I still active joining lots of campus programme and I always keep on feel like lost balance every time I use my legs for too long (around one to two hours). Thus, during my third year baru la I go to check my knee. But most of the doctors said I just tired, overused of legs or lack of calcium.

The pain getting worst until around 2018/2019 where my back also in deep pain. Around my menstrual time, the pain will be doubled. But I don’t like to consume painkiller and it doesn’t help actually. Just reducing the pain but the pain still there. So in 2019, my colleague suggest me to go check again at clinic. Fikir punya fikir, finally I go clinic for check up. And guess what, I’ve been diagnosed with possibility of slipped disc and ACL/PCL/MCL/LCL or whatsoever related to knee injury. Di sana baru tersentak. Padan muka sebab dari awal tidak pandai mau pergi check.

Now, I have been undergoes physio session for almost 8 months. Waiting for my schedule MRI which is on next month. Glad that after few times physio, the doctor examine me again and said it just maybe the pain is from my knee or hip problem, not slipped disc. Alhamdulillah for that. So now, I just hope the MRI result will be not so serious injury as I don’t want to undergo surgery. I don’t wanttt 😭😭😭 Whoever reading this post, please pray for my health. May Allah bless you with a good health too. Ohh btw, as now we are still in the movement control order period, so I have not go physio for a month plus. Sakit dia, ya ampunnn sakit sangat sangattt. I couldn’t sleep well. Duduk sakit, diri sakit, baring sakit. Not comfortable at all. But, I have this habit where I hide my pain infront of peoples, including my family. I don’t like people sympathise at me because I am sick or not well. Diam-diam jak buat macam normal eventho it actually like a hell painful. The painkiller medicine do not help at all. Makan la sampai berapa banyak biji pun still sakittttt.

Okay, that’s all I think I want to share for now. I hope I can have a good night sleep and the pain go away asap.

Cheers!
dayang